Relationship Rescue for Wives and Girlfriends of Internet Pornography Addicts

Seeking Help and Counseling For Internet Sexual Addiction





 
 
Hopefully your husband or significant other has recognized their problem with porn and are willing to take the steps needed to get healthy. Respect his need for privacy as well as yours. There is a great deal of shame and secrecy with a sexual addiction. There is a social stigma in our society that is hard to overcome. Family members and close friends may not be your best advocates.

First, make a commitment to change. If you continue to do what you did yesterday, you will get yesterday's results.

Decide together how they will get help and support.



No matter which course of support and healing he chooses, please know that:


One Final Thought. Consider This.

Addicts of any kind live in a "verbal reality." This means if they say it, it is true and if they say it passionately enough
even they believe it is really true. Men who have an addiction to porn live in a verbal reality. A sex addict believes
what he is saying while he is saying it.

Your most helpful tool in dealing with verbal reality is looking at his 
measurable behavior. He says, "I can quit" but
logs on again.

The behavior is always the truth.
He says he wants to change, but attends no 12-step meetings and makes no calls to counselors or therapists, and so his
behavior is the truth. Don't be fooled by verbal reality and don't blame him if you buy what he says to you. In the past,
your own desire to believe the best and not implement measurable behaviors has set up a system that you both are now
familiar with. The system is: he does what he wants, Says: "I love you" or "I'll change". You believe him, nothing changes
and then you get to repeat this cycle again.

The way to stop this cycle is to ask what recovery behaviors he is committed to and where he is going to check off if he
did them or not. Addicts themselves believe their own verbal reality so YOU can't if the both of you are going to get on
a path towards health.


>> How to Quit Porn Addiction Starting Now