Relationship Rescue for Wives and Girlfriends of Internet Pornography Addicts

Porn Wife Shame

Let's take a look at some publicized Porn Wives and how they moved past their shame:

Renee Crosse is the wife of Clay Crosse, Christian singer/songwriter and ex-porn addict. When Clay admitted his addiction to pornographic videos to Renee, they immediately turned to their faith to help keep their marriage together. Renee says she has realized and accepted that temptation and lust are battles they are going to have to fight every day for the rest of their lives. “We can't ever relax on this issue,” she says. “It's like a scar - it never goes away.” Because Clay is such a public figure, they have created a ministry together. Her face and name are out there as a role model to other wives and girlfriends of men addicted to porn. It is possible to work through his struggle together and make the marriage bond stronger than ever.

Platinum-selling country singer and ex-Dancing with the Stars competitor Sara Evans divorced her husband of 13 years, Craig Schelske, accusing him of committing adultery and verbally abusing her. They have three kids ages 8, 4 and 3 - one boy and two girls. According to the divorce petition filed, her husband was keeping a stash of porn on his computer, including at least 100 pictures depicting him fully nude and several showing him engaged in sex with other women. He was also putting personal ads on looking for threesomes and partners for anal sex. Sara was also upset about him allowing a stylist from Dancing with the Stars into their home. There was also a situation in which one of the three kids confronted the father while he was watching porn on TV. When the divorce was finalized in 2007, Sara was ordered to pay him $500 K in alimony (!) and gave up her rights to the two homes they own in Oregon. Sara's hot career never skipped a beat. She is now engaged to former Alabama football star Jay Barker (left). Not every relationship is salvageable. Sara is testimony to strength in action and moving past heartache, for herself and her children.

Cook needed more. The first day of their 2008 divorce trial was filled with shocking details of teen sex, pay off hush money, web cams and a $3000 a month porn subscription habit. Peter met the teen when she was 18, while she was working at a Hamptons toy store in 2004. Soon after, he hired her to work at his architecture firm, paying her $20,000 to type magazine articles onto the company's Web site. Now that he was her employer, a position of power, he began to seduce her while they were working together in the office. The girl claimed they had sex about 10 times before their relationship ended in late 2005. Cook says it was a dozen times— some at the office, some at Brinkley's own home in the Hamptons. When Peter Cook took the stand, he cried (!) when questioned by Christie's lawyer. What did he admit to? Sex with his teenage mistress in his own office. Paying her $40,000 over time and then $300,000 hush money. Spending over $3,000 a month on Internet porn. Performing in front of his webcam having virtual sex with some other recipient on his computer screen. Posting pictures of himself on swinger dating sites looking for women to interact with. Christie received sole custody and decision making for their two children. Peter was granted parenting time and a financial settlement of $2.1 million. Christie will continue to individually own all of her real estate properties. After twelve years of marriage, this is a win for Christie. Was there vindication through the public airing of so much personal laundry? Perhaps. There are two children from the marriage so perhaps a bit more discretion? Then again, 'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned'.

Anne Heche finalized her divorce from ex-husband Coley Laffoon in March of this year. She filed two years ago claiming Laffoon is a stay-at-home dad but he left their then 5-year-old son Homer "with nannies and babysitters while he played ping-pong, backgammon and poker and viewed pornography online." Heche also said that Laffoon bragged to cast members of her show Men In Trees, taped in Vancouver, that he "knew each strip joint in town." The former videographer, who says he quit a $6,000-a-year job (!) to take care of Homer, is seeking primary custody and at least $33,000 a month in support.

A judge finalized the divorce with 50/50 custody of their son, $3700 a month in child support and a lump sum of $515,000 to Laffoon. Where is Anne today? She gave birth to her second son Atlas in March with her new boyfriend Men In Trees co-star James Tupper.

X-Files actor David Duchovny who is starring in Californication beat the media last year by announcing he voluntarily checked himself into rehab for sex addiction after years of denying he had a problem. David has been married to his beautiful wife Tea Leoni since May 1997 and has two kids - Madelaine, 10, and Kyd, 6. When David was interviewed by Playgirl in 1997, he denied he had a problem. "I'm not a sex addict," he told the interviewer. "I have never been to those meetings. It's hurtful to my family and if I was involved with a woman in a monogamous relationship, it would be hurtful to her."

Leoni initially reacted in a way that many wives have by brushing it off with humor and trying not to deal with it. In May of 1998, Leoni told Elle magazine in an interview that she found the notion of her husband being a sex addict "very exciting." "David was accused of being a sex addict," said Leoni, who had been married for one year at that point. "Which I always found very exciting. And then I found out it wasn’t true." "Men are like bulls," she continued. "They gotta get the new cow. Maybe you’ve got to get the bull after he’s had a lot of cows, so you might just be the last new one."

Yeah right. And then you realize after playing this game of normalization for ten years that a problem exists and unless it is dealt with, it will keep rearing its ugly head. No matter how famous or beautiful you are, the addiction takes him back to the Internet to look for more cows. You can never be the last new cow when you are in a relationship with a man struggling with porn.

The latest? David Duchovny and Tea Leoni are reportedly planning to renew their wedding vows. The pair announced the end of their marriage last October, after Duchovny underwent a spell in rehab to treat sex addiction. But the actors worked through their problems and subsequently reunited, and they now plan on sealing their love with a second marriage ceremony. They’ve been married for 12 years and, like most of us, have had their ups and downs. But they really want to put the past behind them and renew their vows. They want to draw a line under things and make a fresh start. They went through a tough time but have reignited that spark. David realizes how close he came to losing it all so he especially wants to have their family and closest friends on hand to witness his second chance at happiness.

PAH is not here to promise you a 'Happily Ever After'. Every relationship and marriage has its own individual dynamics and circumstances. Things may work out for the both of you. Or they may not. What PAH can deliver with some hard work from you is a new 'Once Upon a Time'.

>> How to Quit Porn Addiction Starting Now