                     He                                                                                     She
    Feels a new level of honesty and truthfulness                         Feels the level of his disloyalty and deceit more intensely
    Has a new level of appreciation for the marriage bond           Is saddened to realize how little the marriage has meant to him
    Finally has the accountability he was looking for                     Senses the shame and secrecy of being married to an addict
    Loves her more than he ever has before                                  Has never felt less loved,valued or secure

                              Bottom Line: He wants congratulations for something that makes you want to throw up.

    The emotions listed above are true and valid for both the man and woman yet are polar opposite. Why does this happen?
    He has been holding these feelings for a long time and is very familiar with them. It is a welcome relief for him to disclose
    his secrets and come clean.   Sharing his burden with you means you now get to grieve over the loss of the relationship as
    you knew it to be. You get to feel some level of the shame he felt. You also have a finely tuned sense of distrust towards
    all of his actions. Welcome to the temporary insanity that healing from a porn addiction brings to a couple.

    Be aware of the porn healing paradox as both of you move forward. Share this with him so he understands and appreciates
    your viewpoint as both of you work on becoming whole again. He needs to continue to earn your trust. And you need to
    continue to work on healing yourself and becoming open to trust again.

Relationship Rescue for Wives and Girlfriends of
Internet Pornography Addicts

This site is for informational purposes and is not meant to be a substitute for professional counseling.

The Porn Healing Paradox

He Recognizes His Problem with Porn and Is Getting Better So Why Do I Feel Worse?